can't drown my demons |serena

[NOAH JAYCE ROSLAND]

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[atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,435,true][atrb=vAlign,top] ❝ can you hear the silence, can you see the dark. ❞ TAGS serena NOTES meow :3

[atrb=vAlign,top] THE sun cast its golden hour glow across the canvas of the cemetery. Long, painterly shadows scattered around the ground of the grave stones and the different shrubbery that decorated the scene. For the most part, it seemed empty. No person seemed to be interactive with the graves at this point in the day. As the sin set, it seemed that few would stand against the stereotypical horror that came with this particular setting. Of course, that wasn't to say that ghosts didn't stand among it. One stone reading "Noah Jayce Rosland" had a visiter, but no one who could give flowers, no one who could give remorse, just the spirit of the man himself who was laying in the ground. His fist sat clenched to the top of the stone but he felt no actual, physical, connection to it. It was a mere rock that held his skeleton as a place of resting, it was a symbol of his frustration. Noah's hand remained rested on the granite for only a moment longer before he brought himself to pull away from his own stone. In the four years that he'd died he'd hardly left the place he had grown up. There were too many things that kept him locked here for the time being. It was only when things got more difficult for him to look at that he'd leave for a while. No matter what, though, he'd surly return. "I need to get out of here," He thought to himself, turned around and started towards the path that had lead him to the rows of this site. It was a red, gravely path, and there was still a little mud in the ground. Spring moisture had been getting to the ground. Luckily for him that he'd never have to worry about slipping in the mud, getting shoes wet, or even feeling the mess on his clothing. Eyes down, Noah watched his translucent feet move down the path, crawl over top of the different pebbles. Suddenly, this cool chill brushed through his entire body. It was paralyzing at first, mostly because having that feeling was such a surprise. His eyes moved back up, seeing nothing until he turned around and saw another figure. "Hey!" His tongue spoke for him before he was able to even think about it, "Careful where you are walking!"

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[SERENA GABRIELLE VAN LITH]

sweet misery,

Serena had never visited her grave. She didn’t want to feel the misery of seeing her own headstone, knowing that her body was buried beneath it. But she figured a year after her death, she could finally bear the pain and go visit her grave. She didn’t know why she felt she needed to visit the spot where she was laid to rest, but she assumed it had something to do with some ghost thing. All ghosts visited their own grave at least once, right? She picked herself up off the floor of the attic, in the same spot where she had taken her last breath, the spot that she had stayed in for the past year, and exited the house. It wasn’t a home anymore....it was never truly a home to Serena. It was just an empty shell now, especially since her widowed husband had fallen into the black hole of alcoholism and depression. He stayed in his office most of the time now, focusing on only his work. It was just a matter of time before he found himself a new, prettier wife...or he offed himself too. Whichever came first.

Serena’s footsteps were silent against the concrete sidewalk as she made her way to the cemetery. She wanted to wait until night, after everyone had left, not wanting to run into anyone she knew standing at her grave. She walked to the cemetery and slipped right through the gate, not even feeling anything as the metal bars passed through her transparent and diaphanous body. She found the path quickly, and she figured she had all of eternity so she would take her time. She would find her grave soon enough, she just wanted inspect the rest of the graves and see if there was anyone else she knew. As she walked down the path, her eyes focused on the names engraved into the marble and granite instead of the path in front of her, she bumped - well phased, actually - through another being. She felt chills go up her spine and she spun around to face the retreating figure whom she had run through. She opened her mouth to apologize, but before she could he had turned and was yelling at her. Her eyes widened significantly and all she could do was stand there. She started shaking slightly, frightened at what the stranger might do - because she was still so heavily in that mindset that she would get hit for misbehaving or messing up in any way. She took a step back, and started stuttering as she tried to get her apology out. “I-I-I’m-m s-s-s-sorry.” She froze up then, unable to move any further, her feet held to the ground in frozen fear because she was certain this stranger was going to hurt her.

notes; sorry, this took longer than i thought it would...
wordcount; 472
outfit; murr um...idc. a summer dress and flats.
tagged; noah c:

[NOAH JAYCE ROSLAND]

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[atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,435,true][atrb=vAlign,top] ❝ can you hear the silence, can you see the dark. ❞ TAGS serena NOTES that's a-okay c:

[atrb=vAlign,top] LOOKING back at the girl, he took a second to rethink his actions. Slowly, his body started to feel weak for even speaking in such harsh tones. He never used to be like this. Never before his death had he gone out of his way to call someone out for something. He'd rather be a friendly, go-lucky, guy that would apologize for running into someone on the street, not curse them for his own inability to look what he was walking. He knew what had happened to him, he was aware that he was taking his death to be an asshole, yet he still did it out of the bitter, pent-up feelings that were constantly stirred around within him. The part that really struck him was hearing her voice. It choked him. His arm lifted as he turned back towards her, as if he wanted to touch her shoulder in a great apology. He didn't actually reach out and touch her, but just how hollow her voice had made him feel, he wanted to. "No…" His voice was so soft that he couldn't actually be certain that the girl actually heard him. "Wait," There was a slight rise in his voice. He couldn't let her suddenly leave like that, especially not when she had such a reaction. "I'm such an ass," his thoughts whirled around, and his hand that originally had reached out to her found its way through his hair instead. It was a meditative thing he'd do to help him think of what he'd say next. "Look, i'm sorry," As he spoke he couldn't help to think that he could've been far more sincere than that. Clearing his throat, although unnecessary, he spoke again, "Please, don't apologize, that was all me," His body tried to move a little more to face her, to see her actual expression, but there was a little bit of a hesitation in his step. The anticipation of waiting for her to speak up after him was actually what was getting to him the most. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," He repeatedly cursed in his mind for this.

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[SERENA GABRIELLE VAN LITH]

sweet misery,

Serena’s breath had caught in her throat and she was almost trembling from the fear. Despite being dead for over a year, she still hadn’t fully recovered from the abuse she received from her husband for nearly five years. She didn’t think she’d ever fully get over it, but she hoped she’d eventually be able to be yelled at without flinching and diving under the nearest table. The woman flinched again as his arm lifted and she stepped back again. She chewed on her lower lip nervously, her arms wrapped around herself and her fingers digging into her sides, pulling at the fabric of her dress. Her eyebrow arched as he spoke, and she didn’t make any move to move closer to him. Her feet stayed rooted in her spot a few footsteps away from him, not making any sudden movements.

Serena let out a little breath she had been holding in when he apologized and her lips pursed. “Oh.” That was all she could say at the moment. Her hand slowly lifted and she pushed her fingers through her hair, still chewing on her lip. “I suppose....I do forgive you.” She nodded, her voice still slightly shaking, but certainly not as much as before. She wasn’t as afraid as earlier, but she still stayed in her spot. Her arms slowly lowered to her sides and she took a deep breath. “I um....don’t think it was your fault entirely. I should’ve been watching where I was going as well.” She cleared her throat slightly, although she had no need to, and forced a faint smile, the corners of her mouth barely turning up.

notes; woot~
tagged; noah c:

[NOAH JAYCE ROSLAND]

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[atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,435,true][atrb=vAlign,top] ❝ can you hear the silence, can you see the dark. ❞ TAGS serena NOTES she makes me so sad, the feels :c

[atrb=vAlign,top] CAREFULLY his eyes watched her. The expression on her face, her body language. There was something about her that touch his heart more than if he was to see a woman with another, more natural stance would. The way her arms wrapped so tightly around her body. It was as if she was guarding herself from anything that came close to her. Then here Noah was acting out at such a person. He felt like such an idiot. Even as she brought herself to speak again he felt his emotions fall darker into the abyss. "Well, thanks," He said quietly as he awkwardly shifted his leg weight. The words "i suppose" repeated in his brain. It had done nothing to make him feel better for lashing out. He hated himself for that. Anyone that used to do that in the living world would irk Noah and he'd be the one to tell them to get a life. Now look at him. As her arms fell to her sides, he took an unnecessary breath of relief. For some reason seeing this action made him feel a little better. But then when she spoke again he couldn't help but have a little smirk on his face, even though his eyes still felt sad as he looked at hers, "This is going to be where i saw 'no, it's my fault, really don't worry about it' and we are going to be on this infinite loop of apologies until someone awkwardly feels forced to just accept it" He couldn't help but let out a little chuckle after he had said that. Part of it was him actually laughing at the truth behind his words, the other part was out of the awkward moment tension that he hoped to break in some sort of way or another. "Maybe if i offered my name she'd feel better… just something to relate to," his mouth opened, about to speak, but he hesitated, second guessing himself if she'd really want to be around some guy that walked through her. "No, just allow yourself to do something for you and maybe another person," a voice told him. So he let himself move a little closer to her, but only by a few inches. "I'm Noah, and i'm also still sorry." Another brief laugh escaped his lips. "I must sound so stupid."

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[SERENA GABRIELLE VAN LITH]

sweet misery,

Serena watched the man carefully, cautious of his next move. Her husband would do things like that all the time - be calm one moment and then attack her the next. She let out a slow breath, and bit her lip gently, nodding slowly at his words. She still felt bad for running into him, because she should have been watching where she was walking. Instead, she was focusing on the headstones, which were forgotten by now. All her attention was on the man now, cautiously and carefully watching him to make sure he wasn’t still mad. She let out a small chuckle and slowly nodded, smiling faintly. “More than likely. I’m a bit stubborn though, so be warned.” She nodded, and started again chewing on her lower lip, a nervous habit of her’s.

She ran a hand slowly through her hair as the talking ceased momentarily between the pair. Her eyes drifted around at each of the different headstone, trying to spot if her’s was near or not. Her eyes then fluttered over to the man again as he spoke and she let out a small chuckle. She realized he was not as dangerous as she first anticipated, and she felt a little more comfortable around him, but not enough to let her guard down. She had learned the hard way what letting her guard down did to her, and she did not want that to happen to her again. She knew he couldn’t hurt her, because, after all, they were both dead, so what damage could he do? “I’m Serena. And I’m also still sorry.” She let out another soft chuckle, smiling faintly over at him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

notes; woot~
tagged; noah c:

[NOAH JAYCE ROSLAND]

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[atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,435,true][atrb=vAlign,top] ❝ can you hear the silence, can you see the dark. ❞ TAGS serena NOTES c:

[atrb=vAlign,top] WAS it strange of him to actually thing it was cute of her to have this continuous reaction? Even if it was, he couldn't help it. Her response and faint smile allowed him to light up a bit more rather than focus on how much he was hating himself. "I think the mixture of both of our stubbornness might strike some issues here," His tongue stuck out a bit from his lips as he gently bit down on it. This was a strange thing he always tended to do whenever he said something in a joking nature. Because of the aggression that had been possessed in their first few moments of their encounter, Noah resisted from reaching out to exchange a hand shake. Not only this, but since he died he'd always found it difficult to touch people purposely. That chill and strange feeling as two ghostly forms touched was just something he didn't know if he'd ever get used to. In a sense, it was like touching a person in the world of the living, but if those people had been standing together in a walk-in freezer for the last half an hour. For Noah, it was a fantastic, and terrifying feeling, one he was going to avoid for as long as possible. "It's nice to meet you as well, Serena," He shook his head, taking in her name then continued, "Considering…" There was really no need to explain himself more. If he could get over how strange and aggressive he was around anyone new these days it wouldn't be from confronting those feelings through conversation. He couldn't help but shake his head a little, "And seriously, no need for apologies, it's all me" He hands gestured to himself. Then he took in their surroundings. It was a little depressing, if not a little ironic, that of all the places for Noah to interact with the first ghost to give him the slightest of a smile was in a graveyard. It made him actually think of why she'd be here… but he could only really guess. Could it not be from the strange fascination of what he had been doing here? "Do i dare ask what brings you to this part of the world?" Was it strange of him to start a conversation with a girl he had literally ran into?

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[SERENA GABRIELLE VAN LITH]

sweet misery,

Serena let out a small laugh and she nodded, agreeing with him. Her stubbornness had gotten in the way a lot while she was alive, and she tended to argue more than was necessary, about the simplest of things. She bit her lip gently and her fingers pulled at a loose thread she found on the top she was wearing, picking at it in a nervous manner. She was still a bit on edge, but she was slowly relaxing, becoming more open to the person standing across from her. He did seem to be nice though, a different trait from her widow, who always seemed menacing. She ran her tongue along her lower lip, and a smile slowly formed. “It’s nice to meet you as well.” She spoke softly, and ran a hand through her hair.

Serena let out a small chuckle and smiled faintly. “I still should apologize for running into you...how about we come to a stalemate and say it was both of our faults?” Her eyebrow arched, and her hands slowly folded in front of her. She bit her lip again as he questioned why she was here, and she almost didn’t want to answer his question. It wasn’t because she wanted to be deliberately rude because he had been to her, but because she didn’t know if she was comfortable talking to someone, as weird as that sounded. She had been sheltered for the last few years of her life, which had spilled over into her ‘life’ as a ghost. She decided against being rude and answered him, “Well...I’ve never visited my grave, and I’ve been dead for about a year, so I figured I should at least once.” She slowly nodded, smiling faintly.

notes; finallyyyy~ so so sorry it took this long! x.x
tagged; noah c:

[NOAH JAYCE ROSLAND]

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[atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,435,true][atrb=vAlign,top] ❝ can you hear the silence, can you see the dark. ❞ TAGS serena NOTES it's all good because i didn't have wifi for a few days

[atrb=vAlign,top] IT was strange how much Noah had gone out of his way to analyze the people around him. Living in the life style he once had it was easy to watch people and how they reacted to situations. His mother had taught him it without even trying. She'd always say how one of her friends would be biting her nails and how it was her most nervous of habits, something she only did when she was expecting to see someone important, or when she was extremely anxious. Little things like this stayed in his brain since a young age, so watching people became a common thing for him rather than actually speaking with people. Looking at Serena he felt himself diving into each of her movements, thinking them through. There seemed to be something so anxious about him. The way she played with features of her body. It couldn't just be from Noah, could it? His eyes furrowed a little with concern, but he hoped that she couldn't see much past it. “Both our faults?” he let it roll over in his thoughts for a few moments, “I think that's probably the best way to go about it.” He allowed himself to laugh. Noah allowed himself to nod, after all he had done the exact same thing, so it only made sense. “Wow, a full year, i remember that,” he spoke but he realized that even he hadn't even been here for all that long. There was a little bit of a silence that resonated. Noah didn't even know what to say in this situation. Between her apparent nervous habits, and between this awkward situation he couldn't be certain of himself. To break himself out of the silence, he lifted his arm up in a gesture to scratch his head. It was strange, because there was definitely no actual sensation for itching. “Well, it is something that you need to do anyways, get away from the part of you that you had once known and figure out the way you want the world to be for you,” he nodded and looked up at her from his words. It was almost like Noah to jump into some sort of serious conversation. He'd always been terrible on the niceties and with common chatting.

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[SERENA GABRIELLE VAN LITH]

sweet misery,

Serena watched as he muddled over her suggestion, smiling softly as he agreed to it. “More than likely...it’s probably the only way we’ll both back down.” She chuckled softly and ran her hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face. She wasn’t going to allow him to take the entire blame, and she knew he wouldn’t do the same, so this really would be the only way to go. She acquired this stubborness from her marriage, because she was just used to apologizing over every little thing in fear of getting hit or pushed around because of something she did. She learned to apologize to avoid being reprimanded, but even when she did apologize she was beat - but still she apologized and took blame for every little thing.

She sighed and slowly nodding, her eyes glancing up from the path to the man in front of her. “It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long but...time flies when you’re dead, I suppose.” She chuckled quietly at her small joke, biting her lip gently. Serena nodded again, agreeing with him. “I suppose you’re right....besides that’s the only way you can really pass on, as well.” She bit her slowly, her eyes fixed on a spot on the path that an insect had landed on. She watched the insect as it flapped his wings, walking in a small circle before it flew off again. She broke out of her reverie and looked back up to the male who stood across from her, smiling faintly as she nodded.

notes; woot~
tagged; noah c:

[NOAH JAYCE ROSLAND]

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[atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=border,0,true][atrb=width,435,true][atrb=vAlign,top] ❝ can you hear the silence, can you see the dark. ❞ TAGS serena NOTES <3

[atrb=vAlign,top] IT seemed promising to Noah that she was able to make the small joke. Maybe it was hope for her to unwind a little more. But what she said really did make him think about it. “They say that the reason childhood seemed to last so long to us was because the most monumental things of our life happened and that as we grow older time seems to speed up because things seem to be less important...” he let the thought carry on as he examined her eyes for any reaction to what he was saying, “So maybe this life, the afterlife, will fly by even more quickly than even real life had.” Originally he had said this as a way to help her out, maybe make her see a positive light in it but Noah slowly started to realize that what he said might actually be scarier to think about. Noah started nodding in agreement with Serena. It was strange, but although he was in the after life and he should want to pass on and not have to endure living the torture of life again and again, there was something appealing to being tied to the earth. Seeing his ex girlfriend move on so easily pained him, but he needed to see it. Life had been torture, but it made him feel, and that was the beauty of living. “Are you still going to see it?” he spoke, curious to if she would continue on her original venture. If she was, he questioned whether he should stay or let her continue on her way without him. She was so sad, though. He couldn't let her continue on her way without doing something positive to assure her. Her made a gesture to the direction she had originally been walking, “If you want you can see it and maybe we can find ourselves away from such a place so... depressing, maybe go on a bit of an adventure?” Did that sound strange coming from a stranger? After all, that's what Noah was to this girl, as she was to him. But it was different in the afterlife. They should be more open to talking to different people in the afterlife. What else would there be to do?

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[SERENA GABRIELLE VAN LITH]

sweet misery,

Serena nodded slowly - she had heard the same thing in her psychology class she took in high school. It was a brief course, only covering the basics of psychology so it was very vague and didn’t go into depth like she hoped - how far could you really get in a semester course? - but she enjoyed it nonetheless. “Hopefully it will. It’s not easy being dead.” She chuckled lightly, slowly nodding. She bit her lip gently as her eyes scanned the graveyard, watching for any other people besides the two of them. Serena nodded again. She came here for a purpose and wasn’t going to leave until her task was achieved. “Yah...I might as well, now that I’m here.” She nodded, biting her lip. Serena smiled, biting her lip gently. “Really? You’d want to go an adventure with boring old me?” She was shocked. She didn’t understand why he found her so interesting. She was hesitant though, because she still didn’t trust the stranger. Something told her that she should though, so she nodded. “Yah....yah, why not?” She chuckled lightly.

notes; okay, finally, i’m really sorry.
tagged; noah c: