Post by ALEXANDRIAN JAMESON WINCHESTER on Feb 26, 2013 17:17:15 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 440px; height: 400px; background-image: url(http://i51.tinypic.com/ngx4hu.jpg); -moz-border-radius: 250px; border-radius: 220px 220px 0px 0px; border: 0px solid #414141;] alexandrian jamerson winchster twenty | September 17, 2012 | male | suicide | shia labeouf IF YOU READ THIS LINE, REMEMBER NOT THE HAND THAT WROTE IT REMEMBER ONLY THE VERSE, THE SONGMAKER'S CRY THE ONE WITHOUT TEARS FOR I HAVE GIVEN THIS ITS STRENGTH AND ITS BECOME MY ONLY STRENGTH. COMFORTING HOME, MOTHER'S LAP, CHANCE FOR IMMORTALITY WHERE BEING WANTED BECAME A THRILL I NEVER KNEW THE SWEET PIANO WRITING DOWN MY LIFE (dead boy's poem, nightwish) Alone at the desk in my room. I sat as I write a letter to my Father. Perhaps now even though its to late, he'll understand me, what I wanted, the things that he'd never listen to me say. Perhaps now you'll listen even though its far to late. Dear Dad, I'm sorry I've failed you as a son. I'm sorry I couldn't live up to your dreams of me being a doctor. Those were your dreams not mine. I wanted to be a writer, a pianist, if only you'd listened to me, and let me be what I wanted to be, instead of forcing me to live the dreams that you wanted for yourself and had to give up for me. Then just maybe Dad I'd still be with you. By the time you get this letter I'll be gone, in the afterlife, whatever that might be. If I'm so lucky and successful at my suicide attempt. This is your fault Dad. I'm blaming you for not believing in me your only son. All I ever wanted to was to make you happy but in the process I lost myself, and what I wanted. Then you introduced me to Rachelle. A true gem who wanted to succeed in medical school, for all the right reasons. It was her that helped me find myself, the true me that I'd lost so many years ago. The dreamer, what she had and what you wanted for me, is not what I wanted for myself. So Will you listen now? You don't have a choice now do you Father. I'm laughing at you now. You'll be all alone now. I'm using your gun, bastered the one you thought you'd hidden away in your safe. I've known where the key was for years. I sit here staring at it right now. As you sit in the study, reading your stupid medical books. When you hear the gunshot will you come running? Just one thing father, remember this is all your fault. For not letting me be free to be who I wanted to be. With this I bid you goodbye. Hope you are better off without me to disappoint and hold you back anymore. Goodbye father. Sincerely, Your son, Alex I sat there for a moment longer staring at the words on the paper, pondering if I even wanted to go through with it at all. A deep breathe in, as my trembling hand reaches for the gun. I ponder for a moment where the best place to shoot myself is. After a few moments of thought My hand moves the gun to my head. My heart is beating fast, as I pull back the trigger. BANG! In an instant I was gone. My hand falls to the desk, as I fall out of the chair the note lands on top of my chest. As I entered the after life. I have no idea how long it took you to come and find my body, However I don't really care. I'm finally free to do what I wish with my life. You might tell me that's stupid you are dead now, However I see it as now my life is just beginning. I am free! meows | 26 | 9.5 years | lost |
